She sat across from me in session, hands tucked between her knees, eyes steady but soft.
And then she said something I’ll never forget:
“He said he was sorry, and I know he meant it… but I still feel the weight. I thought it would disappear when I heard the words.”
That moment stayed with me, because it reflects a truth we don’t talk about enough:
Apologies don’t automatically equal healing.
And forgiveness? It isn’t always immediate—or even necessary right away.
We’re taught that saying “sorry” should wipe the slate clean.
But what about the pain that remains, even after the words have been said?
What about the silence afterward—when you’re still holding the weight alone?
Over time, that client realized what she needed wasn’t just a sorry.
She needed someone to truly see her hurt.
To say:
“You didn’t deserve that. I take responsibility. And I’m committed to doing better.”
That’s the difference between saying sorry—and showing up.
🌿 Forgiveness Is Personal
Some clients ask:
“What if I’m not ready to forgive?”
And the answer is always: That’s okay.
Forgiveness isn’t a finish line.
It’s not a checkbox. It’s not something you owe anyone.
Sometimes, forgiveness isn’t about the other person at all.
It’s about freeing yourself—from needing closure, from clinging to the past, from letting pain shape your future.
And yes, sometimes the most powerful forgiveness is the kind you offer yourself.
💙 At Blu Haven, We Sit With the In-Between
The grief that lingers after “I’m sorry.”
The discomfort between boundaries and healing.
The tenderness of choosing yourself again and again.
We don’t rush that process.
We don’t demand reconciliation or resolution.
We just hold space—for whatever your forgiveness looks like.
If you’re carrying something heavy—an old wound, a silent apology, forgiveness that feels far away—
we want you to know: you’re not alone.
📝 Journal Prompt:
What apology am I still waiting for—and what would it sound like if I wrote it to myself instead?